When our computer crashed over a week ago there was the initial panic of "Oh no, my pictures that I haven't yet saved to a disk will be lost!" and just the sheer inconvenience of not being able to check my email multiple times a day. But then something amazing occurred, I found that I had loads more time to do other things. My life was simplified. So until we get it back I will be typing from Jeff's laptop.
In an odd kind of way I have found the same true with my diagnosis of ALS. There was the initial terror and shock, but at the same time just overnight my life has been simplified. All that matters to me right now is having meaningful experiences with my children and husband. I don't want to miss the little moments of Erik, Claire and Megan growing up. My new long term goals of what I want more than anything are to see my children baptized, see them go on a mission, and to able to hug them on their wedding day. And everything else in-between.
With this wake up call I realized that some things just don't matter. Sometimes I may be right (or at least I think I am!) but not everything needs to be a battle. It brings a lot more peace to at times just to let things go and move on. It is much more easy to like someone than to "not like someone." There are many things I can't control in life so here's to trying to do my best with what I've been given. For everything else I can only say "oh well."
I'm more at peace now than I have been in years. Of course (of course!) I still have my moments (like last Saturday hahaha) but I feel fortunate to have something else and that is a new perspective. We go through life thinking we have all the time in the world but what a rude awakening when we find out we don't.
It goes back to my new motto of "Enjoy the Journey" (thank you Amy for first introducing me to the phrase!). That is what the Jeff, Janae, Erik, Claire and Megan family are trying to do.
