Friday, January 26, 2018

typical morning routine

My day starts early…around 1:30ish.

I wake up because either my bipap has slipped and is blasting me in the face, or my legs start hurting.  If it is the bipap, then Jeff wakes up to take it off or reposition the mask.  If it is the legs,  I’ll shift positions and then fall asleep.  From there I wake up multiple times.  It has been years since I've slept through the night.  Same probably goes for Jeff. 

Sometimes I get up when his alarm goes off at 5:15am, so I can type. Often, I stay in bed until 7:00am, that way I can snuggle with my sleepy eyed children for a few minutes when they roll down stairs.  When it is time, Jeff sits me up, puts my hair in a ponytail, and then carefully... slowly... helps me walk to the toilet.  From there, he helps me to the wheelchair, puts slippers on my feet and a blanket on my lap.  

For breakfast I usually have a can of the tube food because it is easy to pour it in, top it off with some water and just be done.  Other times I might have a few bites of oatmeal, scrambled egg or something soft and easy to eat.

The CNA arrives.  She helps me shower and get dressed etc. That takes around 60 minutes.  A friend will come to do my hair and visit.  There are four different friends that will come one morning a week with other friends periodically subbing for them.  The other days the CNA will help.  This group of friends has been helping me with hair for 7 or 8 years!  Who does that?    

It is ridiculous how high maintenance I've become.

Jeff.  Being a caregiver is exhausting.  ALS is just as hard on him as it is on me, obviously in different ways, but he does everything he can for our family.  Very few people realize all that does.  He is my sweetheart. 

I used the word, Sweetheart, to describe Jeff, but the term we use more often is 
ցաւդ տանեմ

The pronunciation is   (ˈtsʰɑvət tɑnɛm)  or  (cʿavd tanem). This is an Armenian expression of endearment similar to Sweetheart.  Its literal meaning is, "I would take away your pain.”




(Jeff was a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints from 1995-1997 and served in Russia and Armenia.  It was in Armenia where he learned ցաւդ տանեմ.) 

Saturday, January 20, 2018

arms like Vin Diesel's


We were playing the game, What’s Yours Like, where one person is trying to guess a word from rather vague clues that everybody else is giving.

In one round as we go around the circle people are saying things such as:
“Mine are brown.”
“I’ve had mine since I was born.”
“Mine are always with me.”

Then it is Jeff’s turn.  And with a straight face he says, “Mine are like Vin Diesel’s.”

Everyone laughs and the person correctly guesses the word, “arms.”

If you make a claim like that you had better be ready to own it. 

With the help of Laurie, Aubrey and their families images of Vin Diesel started showing up EVERYWHERE.  In Jeff’s truck, behind the milk, on family pictures, in the cereal box, in plants and on the ceiling fan.  He has found around 50, but there are a few more in hiding. 



2004 Mazatlan, Erik, baby Claire and ummm... Jeff (?)